The Reason You Started
Creativity, Camus, and Kareem Rahma
There was a time I binge-read Albert Camus’ personal essays and I found myself writing subconsciously in his voice. Even my own thoughts began to sound like his, which is ridiculous of course because when I put those words on paper and shine the harsh rays of objectivity on them, those words don’t look at all like the rain and sea and air that Camus pictured. But haven’t we all been there?
It’s natural, I think. We consume and we emulate what we find to be beautiful and put our own personal twists. Over time (ideally), we get enough life experience and personal insight to develop our own style and voice.
I think this is the most fun stage of being a creative or artist. You sit down and before you know it, you’re out of your chair and swimming, stroking, your hands digging into the current as you realize that current is your words and your words are spilling out, splashing and tumbling onto the page, slow and sweet like honey or fast and smooth like water. It feels like a miracle, akin to God’s little surprise in a careless teenager’s belly, growing and growing, until it’s out and wailing and time closes your tired eyes before opening them again later, fresher, and you realize this wailing baby in your arms isn’t so cute after all - how on earth did you think it pretty just a few weeks before? But it’s your baby and you look at it again, now with a bit more love and swelling pride, isn’t it such a cute, adorable little baby, it has plenty of potential to grow, you tell yourself.
Or maybe you’re a musician and you start plucking your guitar, eh-heming, “anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”
I got to thinking about the authentic feeling of enjoying the art/creative-making process after seeing a bunch of interviews featuring Subway Takes host, Kareem Rahma. If you’re on IG or TikTok or even YouTube, you’d likely have seen him asking people; “So what’s your take?” And he’d respond to the take with either “100% agree” or “100% disagree” - no middle grounds.
He’s almost everywhere nowadays (even Substack giants like Emily Sundberg is talking about him. And he himself is on Substack). But I’m bringing him up because he originally made his first shows on TikTok out of an authentic personal mission. When he started Keep the Meter Running (where he jumps into a cab and asks the driver to bring him to their favorite place while keeping the meter running), Rahma and his producer had this vision of creating “TV for the internet.”
(Btw, my favorite episode of KMR is this one with Irish cabbie John McDonaugh. Man, this guy is a gift that keeps on giving. Watch all six episodes on him!)
Now, his shows are viral and, much like the breakout of 50 Shades of Grey or Hunger Games, creators are copying this unscripted public show thing - with little success. “It’s funny to say this now,” Rahma says later in his own Substack post, “but I was quite sure they (his shows) were both going to fail.” He didn’t make his show for virality and he was not betting on its success. But here we are.
I suppose I’m thinking about what Rahma said because the past week had just been a whole week of living to work instead of working to live. When your job is creative but meant to make a buck it’s a different game, and you just want to make things for the same reason you started: because you love it.
So here’s me doing a little Substack-style stream of consciousness on a Saturday morning.
